Satire
Short stories and rants on global politics, sometimes featuring old men with small hands and bad haircuts.
The Clankers Are Telling Stories Now
I saw something on LinkedIn that really saddened me. Someone had posted about how he'd used Gemini AI to create a storybook, so now he didn't have to think about the stories his children read, or…
World Book Day at St Dastardly's
It’s World Book Day, and at St Dastardly’s School for Wannabe Dictators the kids had turned up in mufti. The kids were always excited about the World Book Day bonfire, when they were encouraged to…
A Zen State of Mind
How to stay calm and not let anyone on Social Media get to you.
In homage to the conspiracy theorists of the COVID-19 age
I was moved to write this post because I woke up and realised that conspiracy theorists are a category of people. I've been wasting my time debunking myths.
The Friday Rant: How to tell if you're a geek
When I was a boy in Nigeria the #1 goal of a football player was to get a ‘window’, what in England is known as a nutmeg. Spectators and players would cheer if
The Friday Rant: Are you tired of living in the average world?
Bob has an IQ of 140. This makes him very smart but not a genius. Jane, Peter and Paul have IQs of 100, 90 and 70 respectively. The average IQ of this group is 100. The question is: would you…
The Friday Rant: The Olive Branch
Dear Bill, It’s been a while since we spoke and I’m sorry, I should have called or sent a text. I know you’ve been avoiding me because I lost my temper, but it was a long time ago and we should let…
Monday Rant: Donald Trump's Secret Membership Application
Secret and not so secret communications from the realm of the Lizard Lords showing Donald's application for membership of the Dastardly Dictators club has been
If only we could still see them
When I was a boy I imagined the world of the future. Nowhere in my imagination were the wars, the famine, the brutality and mindless division of today’s world.
And the poor shall eat the rich
Here’s a confident prediction for you – sooner or later people will notice the Emperor is butt naked, has twenty trillion plus in unpayable debt, is running yet
The Friday Rant: Modern-day generals too dumb to know there's supposed to be a point to war.
It was back in the early sixteenth century that Nicholas Machiavelli wrote The Prince. It was a guide to his employers, the Medici rulers of Italy, on how to profit from waging war. Nick became so…
Men of god growing fat on the flock.
A wise friend said something to me that encapsulates the truth of so many who profit from religion. He said: 'Dele, if you believed in God the way you believe you're wearing the shirt on your back,…
Friday Rant - An antidote to the royal wedding
So we have another Royal Wedding. Yaay! While I admire Harry and assume he’s made an excellent choice of bride, I now have to make space for the coverage suffocating every media channel and…
Stop messing with my mind!
The phone rings and for one of a dozen reasons I can’t take the call. I hit the kill button (as I call it) and divert to voicemail. Five minutes later... My thumbprint rouses the phone from its…
It's official - Tillerson is dumber than a bag of hammers
Donald Trump’s recent assertion - that he had a higher IQ than Secretary of State Rex Tillerson - got one group of software developers wondering – just how high is that? Having drunk a couple of…
Why we'll have no second coming in Africa
In an outbreak of mass lunacy the people of Malawi have been killing people accused of being blood-sucking vampires. Malawi police are reported as having arrested more than 140 people for their…
How to explain the N. Korean crisis to kids
Once upon a time there was a school bully called Donny. Born rich, and not bad looking, he epitomised the saying that the good Lord giveth, and the good Lord taketh away, because Donny had less…