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  • Writer's pictureDele Sikuade

Michael Gove speaks - the Lizard Lord returneth

Michael Gove, a man whose face looks like a deflated balloon you’d find behind the sofa six weeks after a kiddie party, went on the Andrew Marr show to reveal his monstrous personality. This is the same man the whole world recognised as a backstabbing reptile not so long ago, and therefore is naturally a Cabinet Minister in Teresa May’s government. Gove, the smug reptile, found it necessary to support Boris Johnson, his former arch nemesis, but couldn’t find the humanity in him to repeat what Boris had been forced to say: that Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe was on holiday in Iran when she was arrested and imprisoned, and not training journalists as Boris had previously said. When I say Gove couldn’t find the humanity I’m probably being mean. There aren’t many Lizard Lords who are able to shed their skin and pretend to possess an ounce of decency or a human heart. Let’s not forget how the Lizard Leaderess struggles to appear human; though in her case from her facial movements it’s obvious she’s wearing stolen skin.

We shouldn’t be surprised at this behaviour. Gove is currently auditioning for the role of Wormtongue to Boris’ Saruman, an unlikely pair of fraudsters lumbering across the landscape of British politics, appealing to the Orcs in the Tory party on the basis that they are the two most callous, greedy, self-serving bastards the party has, and therefore the most likely to succeed. Gove’s unholy alliance with Billy Bunter extends to tweeting support even for those of his master’s lies that have been fully exposed, like the £350 million the NHS is never going to get. This is surely because his missus has informed him in no uncertain terms that she wants to go to all the Parties of Power, and the British public will not elect a bundle of slime to be PM. Backing Boris is Gove’s only chance of slithering into one of the more important posts, a role he seems sure to succeed in provided he leaves his trusty blade The Backstabber at home.

Boris meanwhile is the epitome of the odious, self-serving populist. This is a man who caught eating an elephant will swallow and lie about it – trunk sticking out of my mouth? - chew, chew, swallow - what trunk? The problem is: everybody in the Tory party knows he’s an ignorant, lying toad with both eyes on the road to power and none on the road to oblivion he’s leading the country on, and that’s why they like him. They’ve looked across the pond and drawn the conclusion that telling lies, implementing racist policies, mocking the disabled and screwing the poor never did anybody any harm. You can almost see Boris’ brain ticking, as he thinks: If it works for cheeto skin why not for me? Hey, I’ll even go on Fox News and say how much I admire the guy. He knows the cretins on the benches around and behind him just want to be him for the flash limos he gets to ride in and the chance to press the fleshy palms of global power, so that when they retire from government they too can be paid enormous sums by murderous arms manufacturers to do f**k all for humanity while the ‘products’ they front cause collateral damage to non combatants in ‘surgical’ strikes (in English: kill kids in their beds).

No doubt there are many who will say that Boris is clever. He’s not. Genuinely clever people think he’s a moron who should keep his schoolboy Latin to himself. Even if he were clever, so what? We don’t admire serial killers who avoid getting caught because they’re clever. It’s as ridiculous as saying we should listen to that twit Dyson because he’s a billionaire. Surely Trump proves that being a billionaire and being fit for anything but being a billionaire are two very different things. Dyson should keep his plant-brained views to himself. He’s a typical Tory Brexit divvy who thinks everyone wants to be like him. The media are out in force today telling us his is a voice we should listen to. We’re not supposed to admire him for his humanity, his altruism, his defence of the poor and defenceless, no, we’re supposed to admire him because he’s rich, rather like the media baron Rupert Murdoch whose papers are trying to award him brownie points for his ability to accumulate money. Well some of us don’t admire people because they’re rich. Some of us think James Dyson is a halfwit. He reminds me of Mark Carney, who asked about the effect of the quarter point rate rise on people who have to live off their credit cards side-stepped the question with an answer about how prepared wealthier people were to weather this storm. The interviewer, being typical BBC Fake News (let’s not upset the right wing, balance, balance, blah, blah b******t), forgot to remind him this was a question about INEQUALITY and he’d basically shafted the poor to help his rich friends (who cave him a job in the first place lets not forget).

But back to Gove and his ilk. If you support the current bunch in power you support a heartless, lying, thieving, power grasping, dishonourable, self-serving bunch of clowns who couldn’t give a tinker’s cuss for you if you’re not a fat cat banker, global business leader, arms dealer, billionaire media baron, or a fellow Lizard Lord. I’m not trying to say you should support the radical alternatives of left wing Labour, I’m just saying it’s our decision whether or not the world stays this way. Own it.

#michaelgove #borisjohnson #ZaghariRatcliffe

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